It had been a heckuva long night already. The Rucker Hill Band had the locals in a dancing mood at The Old Crow Inn and the last-call crowd had come over to my place around the corner for one more after the tavern closed. The next thing anyone noticed it was four a.m.
'Good grief, Eli, we're supposed to go Hell Hole tomorrow, I mean today to go fishing!' I said watching him reach for another beer.
'We-ll, Jack, we did talk about going...' he said gazing at Mary Lou Pankins on his right, who was apparently looking pretty good at that moment. It has been historically documented that women can do strange things to a man, especially when it comes to laying down priorities. So can staying up late drinking, for that matter. A prolonged moment passed before he finally mumbled,'Mmm yeah, okay let's do that. It's been a while since we've seen Amos.'
Last call at Jack's Bar was announced and my impromptu guests wandered off down the road to their homes. It was a small town and everything was within reasonable stumbling distance. In the real world, President Ford had just pardoned Nixon for the Watergate mess and apparently had the country in a nasty uproar. But in our little nook of the woods, I somehow felt a sense of isolation from it all. I thought it would take a long time for any real changes to happen here.
The clock sounded like a five-alarm fire being called in a few hours later, and a jackhammer immediately went to work on my noggin as I shuffled into the living room where Eli was still sawing wood on the couch. 'Come on Eli, we gotta get rolling if we're gonna do this. Believe me, I don't feel any better than you do... ' He opened his eyes separately and gave me one of his looks. Eli could say a lot with just a look. And the look he had at that moment summed it up pretty well.
Slurping hot coffee, we rolled down sleepy streets in Eli's old Buick to pick up Amos. Upon our arrival we discovered he was 'Not ready yet?! We've been ready to go since yesterday, Amos!' I said trying to contain myself, 'And this was your idea in the first place! And we were up half the night to boot! What's the deal here?'
There were some unintelligible words muttered from Amos as he disappeared back inside the house to grab more things, but I did make out, 'Darlene wants to go camping with us...'
Now, I was under the impression this was going to be a guys weekend...' Darlene was Amos' current girlfriend. She was a looker alright, and I had to give Amos credit for that. But she didn't quite look like a rugged mountain girl, and I had my doubts about her capacity for roughing it. After what seemed like an hour, we finally set off in our two separate vehicles.
It wasn't long before Eli began falling asleep. It began with small groans and drooping lids, and soon progressed to all out tearful yawns. But I wasn't tired, was I? No, as a matter of fact I was far beyond that point, mighty far beyond it. The adrenaline rush of almost leaving the pavement a few times with Eli driving gave me a strong incentive to stay awake when I took the wheel. Plus, I'd heard stories about this place we were heading to. Hell Hole, the result of a dammed Rubicon River, was so-named for its location at the bottom of an insanely deep canyon. Anticipation began to well up inside as I pictured myself casting into waters purportedly brimming with fish who pounced on my latest creations from the fly-tying bench. Images like this became the incentive for many a road trip as well as some decidedly unnatural-looking flies.
Now, my idea of a fishing trip is to be prepared well in advance, jump in the car and only stop when absolutely necessary - like to switch drivers to avoid almost certain death. By contrast, it seemed like Amos 'needed to stop' at nearly every town for 'something'. First it was coffee. Then it was a soda. Then something Darlene had to do. Finally it was a tackle shop where he figured he'd pick up some useful information. I seriously doubted the proprietor of the shop was going to tell a character like Amos anything beyond what common fishing sense would allow. But he sold Amos some flies and closed with, 'Oh yeah, I hear they've been getting'em over there.' Sage advice, just like I expected. The sluggish progress we were making toward our destination today was reducing our chances of getting in any actual fishing time anyway. It was an Amos kind of trip already.
Amos was an admittedly loveable kind of guy that would talk ceaselessly about fishing 'here and there' but never seemed to grasp the how-to's very solidly. The sad results of his efforts typically amounted to uncooperative fish and outright comical affairs. There was the time we hiked into a remote brook trout lake where we were told the fish grew to epic proportions. Eli and I quickly rang up inspiring numbers of beautiful Brookies, bigger than any we'd ever imagined. But despite our best coaching efforts, poor Amos remained fishless. As last light approached, he actually hooked a fish, which fish freed itself literally in two shakes. To add salt to the wound, he stepped back into a hole and sank up to his armpits in muck. We had to halt our fishing extravaganza to drag him out moaning and muddy, an unpleasant condition he remained in until we got back to the truck. That was how Amos trips went.
We eventually hit the turnoff to a road that traversed Mosquito Ridge, (an inspiring name if ever) and began a long descent into the bottomless canyon leading to Hell Hole. Eli, now awake from his midmorning nap, took over driving duty while I relaxed and pulled out my camera to snap a few shots. My first one came as we encountered a herd of free-range cows crossing our path. One particularly warty-looking heifer swung her head right into Eli's window and my shutter captured the moment perfectly. 'She likes you, Eli! Forget Mary Lou Pankins, Eh?'
Eli just rolled his eyes.
A pullout on a vista point provided a good place to take a quick break and study the map. It was then that Eli gave me one of his looks. Scanning the endless sea of rocks and forest, he had the sudden epiphany that we were past the point of no return and there were no towns, and hence, no gas stations, in this valley! While we pondered our situation, Amos walked over to see what the commotion was about. To our surprise, Amos had actually done some preparation; he filled up his tank the day before we left. 'Now,' he said triumphantly, 'all we need is a hose'
Down the road, we chanced upon a vacant construction site carved into the dense trees. After some milling around, we started coveting the hoses on the bulldozer but decided we weren't quite that desperate yet. Moving along, we had an interesting encounter with a fishing encampment set up on a picturesque lake. When I walked up to inquire about the much-needed siphon hose, it felt like the jukebox stopped. A dozen squinty-eyed cowboys were all looking down their noses at us greenhorns. There was a palpable tension in the air and I started to take a step back. Suddenly the door to Amos' truck sprang open with a resounding clunk and out jumped Darlene wearing a pink bikini top. She was smiling and slowly shaking her long blonde hair in the soft breeze, looking like a scene from a shampoo commercial. The squinty glares quickly became wide with interest. A lanky one hopped up from his folding chair exclaiming, 'We--ll, I might have somethin' in my truck here!' I started breathing again.
The pile of clutter in the back of his old Chevy turned up a lot of interesting items - some of which I could not discern their original use - but alas no hose was among them. I thanked him for his time and we circled back to the construction site bent on cutting a hose and leaving an apologetic note with a twenty-spot attached. I had just pulled out my Buck knife when another truck spun into the lot in a huge cloud of dust. As it cleared, I noticed it was our Good Samaritan cowboy's Chevy. Out stepped Jo--e Langford, and his son 'Theo-do-wer' Langford too. In his hand he held an amber-colored hose!
'You can go ahead and siphon some out of my truck,' Jo-e Langford drawled, 'I've got two tanks and they're both full up. Go ahead and pull five gallons out; that ought to get you back on the main road.'
'Here's some money for the gas.' I pulled out a moist fiver and held it up, but he politely refused.
We used an empty water jug as a transfer container and soon felt a pang of confidence returning.
As the last drops drained into Eli's thirsty tank, I again offered, 'Thanks Joe, isn't there anything we can do for you?'
He mused for a moment and then surprised us by saying, 'Well, hmm, I might like a picture with your girlfriend.'
I didn't know what to say.
'Say no more!' said Darlene, who promptly sauntered over to pose between Joe and Theo. They looked like two anglers proudly posing with a marlin they'd caught off Baja. So I snapped a few shots, got his address and promised to mail him a print when we got back. It was an Amos kind of trip alright, but this time he'd saved our butts. It was then that I realized Darlene could handle herself just fine, and that Amos was good for more than just a few laughs.
By the time we reached the camp near Hell Hole, the shadows were growing long and the sun was disappearing behind the trees.
'Let's hit the water and set your tent up later!' I said excited to finally be getting to the fishing part of this drawn-out day.
Eli looked at me blankly.
'Oh heck, Eli! Let's just go hit the water then.' I said trying not to think about a night of lying out in the open - exposed to a million bugs. It was now clear Eli thought I was bringing the tent.
As we headed out of the camp, we met an unmistakable veteran of the area who directed us to a place where a pipe ran cool oxygenated water into the reservoir. 'You'll get some good action there!' he said with a wink. We thanked him and made a beeline for it down a rough gravel road where we soon saw the large whitewater flume. There were trout rising everywhere around it!
Both of us had fish on our first cast, and the next too. Double doubles! I was starting to think this was too easy.
'Maybe it is just chocked full of trout?' I said to Eli, who looked like a kid in the candy store.
'Or just: Thank you Mr. Adams for this magic fly. Either way, fine with me!' He said holding up a fat rainbow.'
'I suppose we can keep a few for dinner then.' I surmised thinking about how good fresh trout would be, 'We did bring the food didn't we, Eli?'
Eli gave me another blank look that seemed to be summing up this trip."
'Better keep a few...' I said now realizing the weight of our situation.
Fast and furious action was ours for the next twenty glorious minutes on Adams' magic patterns. It was getting dark and I had just landed a rather nice brown pushing 18 inches when Amos finally pulled up. We yelled up to him to make haste, and I thought I heard him mumbling something about wanting to try his new raft.
'Raft?' hollered Eli fast to yet another fish, 'Heck with the raft! Get down here now!'
As the hooking frenzy continued, I glanced over my shoulder to see Amos in fact busying himself with pumping up an inflatable boat while Darlene unloaded oars and other bits of gear. While this scene was unfolding above, the bite was noticeabley waning considerably. The hatch was almost over.
'How in the heck is he going to get that thing down this embankment?' said Eli with obvious concern.
We watched in disbelief as Amos and Darlene dragged the small craft down to the water over Volkswagen-sized boulders and launched it out into the growing din. We cleaned the four nice fish we'd kept - two browns and two rainbows - and could barely make out Amos paddling around in the dark, apparently not catching anything.
The stars were coming out and we asked Amos if he'd need help getting the raft back up the hill.
'No, we'll handle it'
'O-kay, we'll see you back at camp.' I said reluctantly.
It was awful quiet out there.
Our camp left much to be desired. Aside from having no tent to keep the mosquitoes from living up to their reputation earned on the ridge, we were apparently lacking a lot of other common camping gear. First of all, the fish were too big for the back packing pans (why?) and required some resizing. We had no cups, so we drank water out of the five-gallon jug by holding it over our heads. The cooler full of beer was melting away back home in a hot garage, along with other edible goodies that make a camping experience more enjoyable.
'We had all of our stuff ready to go, what the hell were we thinking this morning, Eli?
'Not a whole lot, that's sure.' He replied starting a fire, 'At least we have wood!'
'Yeah, that should help keep the bugs off. I guess we should focus on what we do have,' I said with revelation, 'That'll be easier to take.'
It was an hour later before Amos showed up with Darlene. Despite catching no trout, they both appeared to be in rather good spirits. I casually admitted to Amos that we were complete dunderheads and had forgotten just about everything in our camping arsenal back home. Amos reached into the back of his truck and pulled out enough beers for all saying, 'Hey, at least you caught some fish.'
'Yeah, we tried to get you in on that action.' Eli offered.
Amos looked at his raft saying nothing and sipping his brew.
'The fish is just about ready, Amos, but we have nothing else to go with it.' I said glumly.
'I think we can help you out there.' He said. 'Darlene made a whole bunch of homemade pork and beans and potato salad too. Let's eat!'
Darlene even brought forks and plates to eat with! My opinion of her was gaining steadily. Eli and I looked at each other nodding in complete approval. Everything tasted great.
After dinner, we sat around the fire ribbing each other about past escapades, mostly for Darlene's entertainment. Women can indeed do strange things to a man. Amos blushed a few times but she smiled sweetly at him. Yes, Amos had picked a good one here. Our voices rose and fell in fits of laughter, and I realized we were all having a great time, together.
At the height of this laughter, we were paid a surprise visit. Out of the blackness, a character that could have passed for Jack Elam suddenly materialized from the bushes, asking us if we'd 'paid for the site yet?' This grizzled man, it seemed, wasn't some lost miner, but in fact the camp host. Just as quickly, he blurted not to worry about it. His eyes wandered away for a moment as he mentioned something about hearing stories of a 'woman' who was running around the camp area wearing different outfits, and hopping in and out of tents. His eccentric eyes nervously surveyed our meager camp, but mostly fell toward Darlene. I came to the quick conclusion that the other fishing camp was here for more than just fishing. We had picked our camp to be as far away from the boisterous lot we encountered in the main area. I stood up and assured him that Darlene was here with us and had been with us since we arrived a few hours earlier. He scratched his scraggly beard and looked us all over once again. 'Heh, you look like good folks. I'll have to see what the heck those numbskulls are doin'! Cuz, we run a respectable camp 'round here! You kids don't worry about payin' for the site tonight. I'm goin' to find out what the Hell's goin' on! G'night.' Then, like some wood spirit, he disappeared back into the brush, leaving us all feeling a bit odd.
At that Amos said, 'Well, that was a show-stopper. I think it's time to turn in.' Darlene took him by the hand and they both disappeared into their...
'Tent! My kingdom for a tent!' I said laying my sleeping bag on the ground, 'Hey, where's your sleeping bag, Eli?'
Eli gave me one of his looks.
'Good grief, Eli! Here, you can use my old army blanket.' He wrapped himself up in it in a tree well and called it good.
'You know, Jack, even though a lot of stuff today didn't go so well, we still had a pretty great day.'
'Yeah, Eli, I guess it hasn't been all bad.'
Thankfully the sky was clear, and the stars came out in full force. I could still see the splashes of the trout that rose to our flies only a few hours earlier. I thought of the time I caught my first trout on a dry fly at a small mountain like I'd hiked in to. The sun had just crested the far ridge, and the lake's mirror surface was dimpled with rings from feeding fish. I remembered liking how my line unfurled very neatly out toward one of them and how proud I felt that my casting was finally starting to take shape. The take was immediate and the fish leapt three times before bulldogging to the shallows where it glittered like gold in the morning sun. At the time, I guessed it must have been a golden trout. Later, I learned it was simply a golden-colored rainbow - like some of the old mounts I'd seen in the fly shop. I flicked the fly from its mouth and watched it swim away. It seemed so perfect. I remember the look of casual amusement on my then-girlfriend Susan's face. I played that scene over and over in my head until I realized that perhaps it wasn't perfect. Something was missing. Susan. Yes, I loved fishing. But maybe there was more to life than that alone. And as much as I loved Life, I needed to embrace it even more. Amos had found that balance. Lucky bum. I drifted off listening to the critters of the night scampering around our heads in the dark.
The morning arrived cool and bright, rich with the smell of pine. Darlene was already up making breakfast when I opened my eyes. She was looking over at me and holding up a steaming coffee pot. That motivated me to get moving. I sheepishly apologized to her for our lack of provisions, and especially for my impatience on our journey here. When fishing was on my mind, it seemed there was little room for anything else. She looked at me with sensitive eyes that revealed she understood completely. I saw Eli looking at me too, but this was a new look.
Amos emerged from his tent stretching his arms toward the sky with a big smile. 'Man, what a beautiful day! This is a great place isn't it guys?'
Eli and I both looked at each other. 'Indeed!' I said returning his smile, 'Say, Amos, we're thinking about taking a few casts and then heading on back. We don't want to eat up all your food, and roughing it like we are is only an act of necessity. Besides, you and Darlene can have the place to yourselves then.'
'Right on, Jack. Maybe we'll catch some of that surface action tonight.'
'Perhaps the deeper stuff is worth exploration too...'
Packing up our camp took minutes with no tent or anything to actually pack.
'Have a good day, boys,' Darlene said smiling, 'Go catch a big one!'
The sweet spot was now quiet and the fish that were countless the night before had retreated to deeps offshore. Perhaps the raft would be the ticket today? Realizing this, we headed out, intent on hitting the first gas station we could find. At the top of Mosquito Ridge, we stopped to look at the view once more before hitting the main road.
Eli looked at me with a smirk, 'You know, Jack, we've just been to the depths of Hell and back.'
'Yes, Eli, and I'm beginning to see the light.'
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